She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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