Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I am going to give you the keys to my place

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Then I'll give you the keys to my heart

  (561): View more from Florida

  Gag me

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  (561): I am going to give you the keys to my place (1-561): Then I'll give you the keys to my heart (561): Gag me http://tfl.nu/oa16
  Replies (5) Good night (1307) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.

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  (813): I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching. http://tfl.nu/tbhw
  Replies (30) Good night (774) Bad night (1611)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex

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  (317): I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex http://tfl.nu/t943
  Replies (4) Good night (2769) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.

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  (917): She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat. http://tfl.nu/3q22
  Replies (19) Good night (703) Bad night (4213)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.

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  (850): He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight. http://tfl.nu/5341
  Replies (8) Good night (541) Bad night (3076)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.

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  (240): I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/grua
  Replies (20) Good night (2713) Bad night (4354)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.

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  (513): My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked. http://tfl.nu/x6u7
  Replies (6) Good night (4517) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

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  (678): Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it. http://tfl.nu/0dlq
  Replies (27) Good night (4905) Bad night (1553)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.

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  (816): So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me. http://tfl.nu/bb44
  Replies (23) Good night (1462) Bad night (5282)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.

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  (616): You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races. http://tfl.nu/trt2
  Replies (6) Good night (2848) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.

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  (636): It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference. http://tfl.nu/wkzw
  Replies (14) Good night (4341) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.

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  (701): It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server. http://tfl.nu/p1uj
  Replies (4) Good night (1152) Bad night (1534)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.

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  (517): Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying. http://tfl.nu/uj2j
  Replies (3) Good night (2053) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?

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  (207): Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims? http://tfl.nu/se1q
  Replies (7) Good night (1470) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.

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  (309): I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne. http://tfl.nu/l6oj
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (225)

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