Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?

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  (305): If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette? http://tfl.nu/wdb5
  Replies (50) Good night (1199) Bad night (2800)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.

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  (401): after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now. http://tfl.nu/y18v
  Replies (160) Good night (13338) Bad night (1798)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.

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  (732): im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad. http://tfl.nu/jkuj
  Replies (9) Good night (790) Bad night (3856)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream

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  (740): I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream http://tfl.nu/eta2
  Replies (28) Good night (2640) Bad night (7034)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.

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  (+61): She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level. http://tfl.nu/h0jn
  Replies (15) Good night (5929) Bad night (988)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice

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  (317): You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice http://tfl.nu/bo72
  Replies (15) Good night (5766) Bad night (826)
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  (916): View more from California

  No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.

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  (916): No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard. http://tfl.nu/3369
  Replies (12) Good night (3793) Bad night (1172)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.

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  (443): she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise. http://tfl.nu/igb9
  Replies (9) Good night (2306) Bad night (773)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.

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  (781): Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave. http://tfl.nu/vplg
  Replies (21) Good night (801) Bad night (5656)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...

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  (309): You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion... http://tfl.nu/v1ex
  Replies (3) Good night (2710) Bad night (663)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...

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  (248): See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts... http://tfl.nu/yx0v
  Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (592)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant

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  (702): The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant http://tfl.nu/bd42
  Replies (9) Good night (1070) Bad night (689)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.

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  (520): it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off. http://tfl.nu/1ls6
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (237)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.

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  (215): When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed. http://tfl.nu/vxku
  Replies (4) Good night (719) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.

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  (580): I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her. http://tfl.nu/o5ak
  Replies (6) Good night (652) Bad night (252)

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