just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls