I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
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Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
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we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance