Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
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I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.