those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
