Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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