That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize