I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
well you can't waste a boner
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
