i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
