1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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