That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
zippers are such a cool invention
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
