he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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