Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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