apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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