I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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