I met the friendliest cop last night
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
