he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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