p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
