yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
