Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
