I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
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he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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