Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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