So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
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Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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