we're blogging at a bar
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
