I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
