Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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