This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
