dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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