He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
