as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
