I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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