I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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