dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
