we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
