It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Ketchup is God's man juice
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
