Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
