Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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