made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just cropdusted the office
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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