In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize