Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
