Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
