Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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