You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
