where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
