my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize