I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
