you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
