dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
