so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
