if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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