worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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