i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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