a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
