Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
