You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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