I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
