Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize