making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
