i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
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She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
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Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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