There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Terrible idea I love it
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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