hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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